I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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