And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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