You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
