i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize