whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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