She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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