I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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