this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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