we're blogging at a bar
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
