dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
