well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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