Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
