White coat. Heels.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
