The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's official drugs can't kill me
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.