sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months