smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.