She said her name was "party"
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
