I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
