I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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