porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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