Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize