You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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