I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
