Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
