Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
