belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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