I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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