Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
