dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
