So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
