just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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