I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
