Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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