i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize