As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
