I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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