But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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