i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
