at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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