A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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