bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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