So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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