This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Actions speak louder than pants.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
