hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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