We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
