I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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