I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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