grandma shit on top of the toilet
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
