Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
