Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
