I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
