There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
