is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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