we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize