you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
