I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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