I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
