stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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