I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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