The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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