oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
