I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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