when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
