Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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