Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
