ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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