I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Can I color on your dick again?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
