Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
